Sunday, November 24, 2013

Today is a new day

It is the week of Thanksgiving and like most people I have been thinking of things I am thankful to have in my life.

We have all seen the Facebook daily reminders, which I think are great, but I not interested in sharing the specifics of why I am thankful or for what I am thankful. This leads, in my opinion, to the people feeling responsible to post the same old responses.

Well what if I am truly thankful for chile rellenos? Is that silly? If I told you romantic back story about how we went to have them the night before my son was born because a nurse told us that he was on his way and we should go have a good meal and pack the car to which we both immediately wanted Mexican food.

Would it make more sense and be less silly?

I am of course thankful for the things that make my life worth living. My family, my son, my relative good health and the good health of those I care about, etc...

I am also thankful for thing others would think are silly. Like people reading these posts and telling me they read them. It makes my feeling feel valid.

I am also very thankful that some things are gone from my life and are hopefully to never return.

So I want everyone know that I am thankful for all the people who have given me any support and have guided my life to where I am now. Good or Bad I have been guided by people, events, and the silliest of things have led me to this place.

Happy Thanksgiving and I hope that it is happy, thankful, and restful for everyone.

An old post I forgot to publish

This week has taught me many things about me, my relationships, my work, and my life in general.

The first thing it has taught me about myself is that I am starting to feel more like myself. I am still scared, insecure, most importantly lonely but, I am starting to figure out that I am all those things so I can start to work on them. I am going to start making  lists and checking them off for things I can change to help in all of these areas. 

My relationships are hard to work on and / or define. I have my family relationships, my friend relationships, and my work relationships. The thing is because of my past work experience almost all of  my friend and work relationships are so intertwined that they are almost impossible to separate. I left where I was to have more time with my son however and I have had so much more time with him that I am really grateful. However, when I actually want to do anything with other adults they are all with their families because they don't have band stuff that weekend or, at band stuff. It makes a social life somewhat challenging. This is yet another area that I am going to have figure out how to move forward. 

My work is the biggest change of them all. The kids are different, the expectations different, just everything is different. I am having to figure out how to approach my position. The high school portion is fine . I understand it. I am trying to take kids give them skills, make them good at those skillls, perform with those skills, add more skills and repeat. Basicall what I have always done. Just in some ways starting over. It is fun and a new challenge and I think I needed it. 

Now the middle school is a different story. It is everything new. Paperwork, Langauge objectives for drum class, it is an exploratory so I only see them for nine weeks and then get a new group. It is truly a challenge to figure out. I will though and I am determined to figure it out. I can teach a paper bag to play a drum if you give me enough time but, that is the problem. There is no time, and no retention or ability for retention so all that's left is finding ways to spend time with different activities and making sure that I am turning in the appropriate paperwork the appropriate way. For a goal oriented person who strives to reach goals and has shown an ability to set goals and reach them multiple times. TO take away goals is a tad confusing but, I will just have to figure out new different kinds of goals to reach. 

So I have basically figured out in the past couple of weeks that I haven't figured anything out but, I'm happier and have more time to realize it.