Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Cell phones and cookies

I find these days I am really intrigued by news of new technology and especially in the mobile realm. I think it is because it seems to be the only thing around these days that seems to really be interested in producing quality and actively trying to surpass their competitors with innovation and quality.

It seems that everything else has associated quantity with quality, or tries to treat the consumer like they are smart enough to know the difference. It seems to be working in their favor though if you follow the Walmart model and most people I know end up in Walmart more tha we would like to admit.

The other thing I like about gadgety technology is their persistence of making things better. I have a metronome application I use all the time and it is great. Just a simple thing that keeps time. I get an update on the simple little app about once every two months. It seems like it works fine and has for years but they feel they need to keep improving it. In think this is refreshing in today's use it and throw it away society.

I find myself doing exactly that like everyone else and then almost immediately have remorse about it. I seem to have the conflict often where what I want to do and my overwhelming insecurity convince myself to have remorse about things that others don't.

It is hilarious with the conversations and bargains I make inside my own head. I will walk by a towel on the floor and then tell myself to go pick it up or, convince myself I will start exercising when I don't have this cold.
I bargain with my own brain all the time and. I wonder if other people do it as much. I have also become a master negotiator with my boy. You can have a cookie if you brush your teeth first. This somehow convinces me that I am still in charge even though he still got what he wanted for doing something he was going to have to do anyway.

Oh well I will try to be better next week if I can talk my self into it.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Standing on solid ground

Solid. Solid can mean a host of things to a huge number of people. I have been trying to put my life on solid terms financially, personal relationships, work life, and in parenting. It has been heading that direction and things have been steadily getting better.

The challenge has been to do this through the tornado approach to life of the people I have to deal with along the way. Constant drama and attempts to befriend me through the condemnation of the others completely undermines my attempts at solid.

These two weeks have been rather solid and I am appreciative to the wheels of karma allowing this to happen.

I have had the chance to clear my head about my work situation and have had the amazing opportunity to participate in the inauguration parade, really establish a sense of purpose again, and just make my self comfortable with my goals.

Things haven't been much easier with the others but I am starting to toughen up with them which is making them change their approach to me.

My little boy is doing great. I only have one question about his schooling that I haven't had the courage to ask the teachers. Do they have to send everything piece of paper he has ever touched with a crayon? My refrigerator looks like its wallpapered, and I have a dresser drawer that is becoming full. I love that he is busy but, goodness gracious.

These couple of weeks have been pretty low key other than trying to get a band ready to perform for the inauguration, snow, dealing with the crazies, dealing with some anxiety about flying, and trying to keep my head on straight, raising an awesome little boy and not really much else.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Couches have perspective.

   This week was not full of earth shattering revelations, money woes, cheerful celebrations, or anything of much significance. 

   We had a good week. The new year started with a ginger ale toast followed by the ball dropping on cue while my little one slept and I chatted on Facebook.

    I did not have to back to school this week and he didn't until Thursday so we had the week to stay up too late, go to Chukie Cheese  in the middle of he week for no reason, and generally play around. It was a lot of fun and a little claustrophobic at the same time. 

     You see, little man has to be next to me and I am not being metaphoric or exaggerating in any way. I mean right next to me and preferably making contact. I am literally typing this with him resting on my leg and pulling on my arm. This has the tendency to make me a little edgy sometimes because there is no such thing as personal space. Which also in turn  inflames my guilt reflex and makes me feel bad for not wanting to be with my son every minute. 

   Also I have been trying to change things physically at the house. Moving furniture, painting, new curtains, things like that. It  is incredibly empowering for me for some reason. Who knew that changing the position of a couch a few feet could completely change my perspective? I don't know if it makes me feel like my life is changing because the house looks different or, if it is a simple as I can put things wherever I want and don't have to negotiate anything. 

It may be a little of both or just my imagination but my perspective is changing for the better. 

Who knew couches and curtains were so powerful?

I wish everyone a happy new year and see you soon!!  

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

That really just happened!!

I am really unsure of how to start or say anything in this post.

My Christmas break was really good. I had the privilege of spending time with my family for multiple days (which doesn't typically happen), see some really old friends, and generally relax. It was fantastic!

To be honest it made me really sad to leave knowing that I am going to travel back into the middle of crazy,

So when I got home can you guess what happened? That's right -  crazy town!

-The grandma called me to make sure I knew that the mother had kept the presents she bought at the mother's  house and the grandmother told her - blah, blah, blah. She also came down and looked over the house and cleaned up a bit. NOPE -  everything was exactly the way I left it.

-the mom calls me twice a day since being home to tell me some foolishness about getting the ex's things out of my house, that the grandmother was worried because the ex had done this and that.

- the ex calls and checks on us and little man won't talk to her as usual. Her parents have done this and that, and then she comes to see the little man and let's me know.....wait for it.......that she is pregnant! It is not any of my business other than it relates to my boy but, she actually wanted to know what to tell him. I calmly explained to he that he if four and doesn't need that and wouldn't understand that so we weren't going to tell him anything.

Also my heat went out. This all happened in two days!!

I have figured out the game though. It is called DRAMA HOUNDS and here is how you play.

1) I have a tragedy that I need to be saved from so that once you save me I can vilify you to others.

2)This makes me seems persecuted to the next person who will try and help save me from the villain ,which in turn will make me use you to make you the villain to the next sap.

It is a tangled web that I can't even begin to dig into much my way out of. These people are so adept at this game that if you try and play they will have you so turned around in a matter of minutes you will question whether you, they, or their game is crazy.  

Oh well, Christmas was great, I am great, the boy is great, and we will keep on keeping on until we can change our circumstances.

Have a great week and be careful out there!!