Saturday, November 24, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving

     This has been another good week.

      Two in a row?! The universe is absolutely trying to spoil me!

     This week has shown me that I am still completely amazed by certain things in my life. The kindness of strangers, the love of a child, and the craziness that some feel as completely normal makes my jaw drop and my blood boil respectively nearly every day that it happens.

       This week was Thanksgiving. This means that this is another time where I try to be reasonable and make arrangements with others in mind. This usually leads to being completely let down or, to be amazed at the actions and selfishness of others.
     I concocted a deal to try and be reasonable to all the parties involved. I decide that my little man would stay with his grand parents on Wednesday night, they would have their dinner that morning and then we would travel the five hours to my parents. This would mean that his mother would be able to spend the holiday with him and I would be able to have the holiday with him and my parents as well.
     So, little dude went to the grandparents, had dinner, but when they brought him home for us to leave someone was conspicuously absent. I was then informed that she had left early that morning to go have the holiday with her boyfriend.
     Then to make matters all the better she had the nerve to message me and ask how he was and if we had left yet. She obviously cared a great deal about his health and safety when she left him while he didn't feel good on a holiday to have dinner with her boyfriend. I was dumbfounded, angry, and had to struggle to keep  from being ugly to her parents. I realized it would do no good to yell at them. They can't do anything about her actions any more than I can.

      Since we have been here she has messaged and called a couple of times a day just to see what we are doing. Why wouldn't she? I have obviously had trouble taking care of him for the last four years. I sure do need someone to keep track of me and what I am doing. Good Grief!!!

    Other than that, it has been a good week. I went and saw some good movies, eaten more than my share, little man has had big time playing with NANA and Thomas, and it has been completely relaxing couple of days.

It has been awesome. I guess we will head back to the grind for the final push to Christmas. It's going to be great!

See you next week!!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

November 20 , 2012

Hello blog and friends,

     This week has not been bad at all. It started with a whole bunch of crazy but, I refused to let myself be a part of it, so it moved on to the next person.
     I got my divorce papers signed!!! Go LIFE!!!

       I have also decided to focus more on the positives of my life and not worry about people who aren't positives in my life. As they say, Misery loves company, and it is proving true more often than not these days. I am just not going to be company for misery or people who are miserable.

      I would say that the most frustrating thing this week has been trying to get my son to sleep at night. It is a battle to say the least and he either acts like a fish removed from water or some sort of battery operated toy that eventually runs out of juice. I can't decide which.

It is really a sight to see.

     He will lay in the bed and wriggle around like he is wrestling a bear, roll over to get up on his knees, lay down again, settle down and lay oh so still so you think you have won. Then he kicks both legs to wake himself up and will start the process all over again. After this ritual he will mess with his pillows or, whatever  he can to stay awake but soon enough he starts to fade again. His movements become slower and slower  then..... BOOM!!!  He has one last burst of activity followed by immediately  going to sleep  and  I mean completely out.
     It reminds me of when your television remote's battery is dying and you smack it against your hand, turn the batteries in the bottom, move it around, and all so you can think it works and it must have been a bad connection so now it will work fine forever.

     You will do this and more so you don't have to get up and dig through that drawer in your kitchen where you know the batteries are but finding them is like digging through a mine field with your fingertips. There are nails, screwdrivers, glue, tape dispensers, that piece of string, an extra light bulb to that lamp that only takes those little decorative bulbs, and a battery container with one battery left. The universe knows you need two but, that would be too easy!

   I also spend every moment of life outside of band with my little dude but, can find a away of convincing myself that I am awful and ignore him constantly. Nobody can build a guilt trip for themselves or others like I can!

     Take for instance Sunday, I picked him from his grandparents' house around noon. When we got home we had a snack, wrestled around while we made the bed, made my mom's famous chocolate cheesecake, peeled potatoes, had a sandwich, played trains on the floor, and had a Thanksgiving Dinner for two guys a couple of days early. After that however, I looked my phone to text some folks and check facebook. Then I convinced myself that I was awful for doing these things.

When I see it in print it confirms my craziness to even myself.

Oh well, I better get back to him before he lives life of crime because of my typing this blog while he is eating dinner.

This has been a good week over all and I hope this boring life continues for some time.

Take Care and Happy Thanksgiving.


Monday, November 12, 2012

November 12, 2012

     Wow what a week! I don't even know where to start this past week has had me turned every which way, inside out, upside down, and been the most challenging that I can remember.

     It started like any other week. Monday wen't off without a hitch. It was smooth sailing. Tuesday began what I shall refer in this post as "the journey."
      On Tuesday there was no school and we had an inservice day that was organized the Niswonger foundation. The Niswonger Foundation is philanthropy effort from a rich business man to try and "fix" education. It was awful and as informative as reading the directions on the back of a shampoo bottle. After the in-service myself and some friends decided to go to a restaurant to complain about the day and catch up on our insulting each other. It was really nice to be around adults and not at work.

Then I received the call. .
     My boy's teacher called to tell me that he was inconsolable, wouldn't follow any directions, and completely out of control. I told her I would be there in five minutes and immediately said my goodbyes and headed that way.

     I arrived at the school expecting pandemonium laced with a little violence and a wee bit off sorrow. I walked through the door and......NOTHING!! Miles was playing on the floor with another little boy and they were laughing and having a wonderful time. Outrage would be a mild understatement as to my reaction. I picked him up, put him in the 3 yr old class and then took the teacher to task in the hallway.

     Wednesday went okay. My parents came to visit and we had a good time.

   Thursday it all went back to "the journey." My little guy and I toured the local Catholic school and it was really exceptional. I knew all of the teachers already because of the band, they were a million times further along than his class, and it is cheaper than where he is because we are Catholic.

   I took my boy back to his school and had a conference with his teacher. I tried my best to get her to understand that I am completely interested, supportive of his teachers and their approach to behavior however, I can not work on standing in line at home because there are no lines at our home. Working on circle time at home is not realistic because I have him sit on my lap and read him a story. Also I wouldn't tell him to be quiet because I think it is important to answer his questions. I would, however, like to know about his behaviors issues so I can talk to him about it but, I would rather have more pertinent information. Such as, he is having trouble with his shapes, doesn't know his lower case letter. etc...

This fell on deaf ears. So we are changing schools.

    Later on in the evening I was practicing with a church band that I had agreed to play with to make some extra money for Christmas. Grandma was watching big man and she was supposed to come and visit him. I left the band practice at 7:50. I know that was the time because I was late and I wanted to call and check on everyone. I was told that she had never shown up. I arrived at home at 8 pm to find her in the dining with my son's piggy bank emptied. She stated she was trying to put money in the bank and I called her bluff and told her to put the money back.. WELCOME HOME! Then she dug in her car for a pill she had dropped and in her car for about twenty minutes. Then she came in and asked if she could download music to her phone and I told her she had five minutes then he was going to bed and she would need to leave.

Friday was okay until about 1 p.m. when she called. She said that when she was downloading music the computer removed her contacts and she needed them to because the doctor told her she had cancer and she needed to call someone.  I told her that I would meet here at the house and when I arrived I tried to go to the back up of her phone. When I looked at her contacts they were all there so I asked and she said there wasn't all of them. So I let try and began to pick up some things around the house. When I looked over towards the computer she was downloading the rest of her music...CLASSY.


Saturday only involved her texting me and asking for money, telling me that she missed me and wanted her old life back. It has been a year and she is living with her fourth boyfriend since I asked her to leave. That makes it ; her four "relationships" since then and me zero. Yeah she misses me a lot and I told her about how awesome she was via text.


I played the church and it was actually fun. I love playing and I get to be around other adults who like to play  so it is really kind of fun.
After I finished the second service I called to tell the I was on my way to get the boy and was told "we have a real problem." I ,of course, inquired and was told that she was having a nervous breakdown. My first thought was my son having to see some foolishness going down and apparently I am the only who had thought of that. I got there as soon as I could and when I arrived I was told again that we had a problem. I responded that I didn't have a problem and that they were responsible for her and I was not. I was responsible for  him and we were leaving because he didn't need to be around that kind of crazy.

So there's the past few days of my journey. Sorry for the length but, needed all of this to be out there for my sanity.

HAVE A GOOD WEEK!  If this one is like last week I am going to be a basket case myself!!!


Monday, November 5, 2012

Sunday November 4, 2012

      This was the last week of competitive marching band for the year. This week is always filled with contradicting emotions for me. I am sad that it is over, happy that I will have more time after school, proud of the work, and a little depressed because it never gets as good as it can be.
   It has been a wild crazy ride but, we really did some amazing things for a bunch of kids from East Tennessee.

   It was also Halloween this week and Iron Man had a pretty good one I hope. It was cold so the EX, myself. and  Iron Man went trick or treating in at the mall with everyone else in town with kids under the age of five. It was okay.  It was full of whining and negativity from an unnamed source but, Iron Man had a good time and saved the world from too much candy being in circulation.
    On the big day we dressed up again, went to the neighbors, and carved a couple of pumpkins. Also her mother and grandmother came to visit. It was really kind of uneventful and not too bad. The adults have to have as much attention as the boy but, at least I know that now so I can effectively keep all of the kids managed.

    It was a crazy busy week and I am tired but, that is part of life. I am starting to take control of some things one piece at a time and it is working to make things easier and better. I just wished I could get this paperwork finished and be able to move on with my life. Also I would like a reprieve from being treated like I am indebted because I am surviving, that there are rights involved so I should mind my P's and Q's, and that I am inherently not as smart so I can be told anything and I will buy it.

    Those interactions are really the only thing that still have trouble dealing with on a regular basis. I am tired of being nice. I want to be done; I mean I am done but, I just want to be officially done. Also when it is done you might want to find away to be with me that day. It will be one to remember and the most fun days you will remember.