Friday, April 18, 2014

Letting Go

It is hard to believe that it has been a month since my last attempt at writing in this blog. I guess writing something everyday is out the window. Like they say, " If you want to hear God laugh tell him your plans."

It has been one of he busiest and crazy months I can ever remember.. From the indoor drumline thing and trying desperately to manage it and make it at least presentable to trying to keep up with my homework it has proven to be stretching me in a way that I haven't been used to for a long time. I am having to learn to let go of things that aren't productive to me or necessary.

Letting go has proven to be the hardest thing I have had to learn in this new life adventure. I started the school year paying as much attention to my old life as my new one to the point where it felt like I was doing a camp or residence here and I would be going back to everything as normal soon. Until recently I just couldn't make myself quit thinking about my old life and finding ways that this new life didn't measure up. I did this while remaining super positive about things here to keep up appearances of being involved and working hard but, I was still involved with the other side mentally.

As time has kept on moving on though I have seen things for what they are now and they are ok.
Are they what I am used to? NO.
Are they necessarily they way I want them to be? NO.
Is my caring and interest in my old life reciprocated? NO.

In the past few weeks I have learned so much about people and my new environment. It has cause me to be more in the moment than ever before and to take real ownership on something like never before. No insecurity involved. I have had to answer these questions daily to make myself think about now and where I am going.

Can this be as good or better than before? YES
Is my life full of new experiences that are growing me as a teacher, father, and person? YES
Can I visualize the steps that I nee to take to create what I want from life now? YES
Am I happy? Mostly

This new mindset is helping propel me forward in a new way and is changing my relationships and life in a way I never thought imaginable. I am creating new and positive relationships with new people in my work environment, I am spending more time doing things I like to do, I am caring about the future in a new way and it is really fun again. I am having fun again.

I have a long way to go but, now I know when I get there I will be smiling. I couldn't have said that not too long ago.

Thanks for reading.

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