Well this week was definitely different than most weeks. It was full of more inner thought about my relationship to the world and how I feel about the things going on in the world than usual.
Frankly, it's about time I thought about something other than myself and my son. I , like most of us, get caught up in my own life's trials and joys and sometime forget that there is a world out there with other people in it who feel basically like I do.
This week an awful thing happened. A young man shot his way into a school then shot 6 adults, including his mother, and 20 children ages 6 - 7.
This tragedy of course unleashed the media machine on this poor little grieving town to make illuminate every crack and crevice of the shooter, the gun industry, school safety, autism, and the relatives and attempts at genuine care. This makes the whole thing so surreal and public that it really makes me as appalled at the behavior of people after the tragic event than the event itself.
I can't imagine what it would be like and I don't want to because that is too much heartache to even imagine for me. I have deep sympathy for them and their community.
I can imagine, though, that I would probably want to be left alone.
This all makes me think about the world and what is happening in it. I have thought about it more than in years for the past couple of days and here is what I have come up with.
We are all scared to death most of the time. We all think our problems aren't like anyone else's problems. We are all lonely and some of us snap.
Most of the people in the world are good and we have to not let the bad ones ruin this glorious life for us.
I have also had two encounters lately that any other time in my life would really upset me and they both involve people thinking that I said something that I didn't and being just insanely offended.
A year or so this would bother me because I used to spend most of my time walking on eggshells afraid upset anyone.
Now, I have come to the understanding that if you are willing to abandon someone of any significance in your life over words real relationships will elude you forever.
Well it has been one heck of a week. I am doing okay. I am still scared,broke, and lonely like the rest of us but, I know it and it is not going to make me sad ever again.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays,
JW
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