Merry Christmas Everyone!
Today is Christmas day and the past week has been a whirlwind to say the least.
People are accustomed to being busy during the holidays and I have been used to it too. This one has been no different. Also it seems that I am always broke and get paid like two days before Christmas.
Making me run around like a crazy person the last couple of days before Christmas but, I always seem to figure it out.
This year was no different.
This was our first Christmas without the ex in the house and it was weird and a little sad frankly. Eventough she never really did much there was always someone there and this year there wasn't. This seemed to make everything more challenging. Also my inlaws are always being very nice but, overly nice which leads me to be suspicious of their true motives.
Dealing with the ex was a challenge on a couple of fronts. First there was times when she was completely normal and others when she was a complete train wreck and made want to run for the hills while pulling my hair out.
I know that a couple of weeks ago I said I was done being that guy and for the most part I am but, when it comes to ny boy I find myself having to swallow my words and be more passive about things than I would like to, or, deserve to be.
I just feel that my boy deserves to know his mother and doesn't deserve to know that she completely drops the ball as a mother. If this means I pay and smile and treat people kindly when I would like to tell them to go away or to shut up then that is what I have to do. He will eventually learn on his own and I will hopefully always be there to pick up the pieces.
This, unfortuantely, also means that others that like to second guess and or give me advice such as, I shouldn't invite her, or tell her this or that. This makes it harder to share with others and results in me sitting here typing my feelings to those of you have the kindness enough read my thoughts.
I guess I will just have to do what I have to do and deal with it or whine and cry to a keyboard.
This holiday with its trials and tribulations has been good, bad, happy, sad, lonely, crowded, frustrating, and relaxing all at the same time. I am guessing this is normal for most and if it's not don't tell me.
I need to think that all of us live in our own versions of CRAZY TOWN!
No comments:
Post a Comment