It has been an interesting week to say the least. I have made some decisions relating to the care of my little guy that I am really thinking are going to be for the best. I have spent an exorbitant amount of time trying to keep people happy. Running here there and everywhere to try and keep the drama to a minimum. Afraid that people won't help me if I make them upset.
I am officially done with that. My son and I will be staying home and living a normal life. We are going to establish our rut and run with it. If people have a problem with that then they will just have to have a problem with it. If she has a problem with how I raise him without her support let her take me to court and prove that she is fit to have any input in his raising.
I went to my counselor this week and he is going to help me figure out how to not calm my mind.
I think about every decision over and over, my feelings over and over, my parenting over and over, and basically trapping myel with my own mind.
I need to come to grips with something. What is, is. That means how I feel is how I feel, the decisions I make at work eithe work or they don't, I try as hard as I can in my parenting and what I get done is what I get done.
I am not going to second guess my feelings. Also I am not going to feel guilty about my feelings.
Last but not least - I am not responsible for the world. I am not going to feel obligated to everyone but, just one and he is going to be ok no matter what.
Some people aren't going to like this new way of being. Some people won't know how to take me anymore.
I am ok with that.
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